Sain's Guide to Dating
by aviatrix8
Summary: To help out Kent, Sain has written a scroll on how to date women... But Kent is having difficulties in trying to read it in private.
1. How to Woo Women and Annoy Them

Copyright, Aviatrix8, 2004. Fire Emblem and all related characters are property of Nintendo et al., and are used without permission.  
  
Yup, it's back! I was planning to rewrite this story anyways, but I'm a little upset at the loss of all the reviews I got (which was the most of any of my stories to date). Ah, well... The price you pay for knowingly writing in script form, when you're not supposed to...  
  
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Fire Emblem fanfic:  
  
"Sain's Guide to Dating"  
  
by Avi  
  
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Part One: How to Woo Women (and Annoy Them)  
  
It was a brief respite between the seemingly endless battles against Nergal and his minions, the Black Fang... Lord Eliwood and his army were taking the opportunity to relax and unwind.  
  
The cavelier known as Kent was riding his horse leisurely down a dusty road... Suddenly, he heard hoofbeats coming up behind him.  
  
"Hey Kent, wait up!" called out a familliar voice.  
  
The knight sighed, and looked over his shoulder. "What is it, Sain?" he asked. His comrade-at-arms was also on horseback, and was riding up from behind.  
  
"I just want to show you something!" his friend told him.  
  
"Very well..."  
  
Kent reined in his horse, halting it. Sain managed to catch up to him, at that point... He then handed his friend a rolled-up piece of parchment.  
  
"What's this?" asked Kent warily. "This isn't one of your love letters to yet another lady, is it?"  
  
"Nope," replied Sain cheerfully. "Take a look!"  
  
"All right..." said the other knight reluctantly, and slowly unrolled the scroll. "But if this is another memoir dedicated to your 'conquests' and 'exploits', it's getting tossed in the mud," he warned. Kent then glanced down at the parchment.  
  
"Sir Sain on the Art of Winning a Lady's Heart..." he read aloud. "What is this, Sain?" asked the knight, bewildered.  
  
"Just what it says, Kent..." grinned the other cavelier. "You wanted advice on how to woo Lady Lyndis, didn't you?"  
  
Kent coughed in an embarassed fashion. "Yes... But--"  
  
"And I started considering..." Sain continued on, obliviously. "I've accumulated so much knowledge on women over the years, I've decided to record it for posterity! Besides..." He winked knowingly at Kent. "It'll be easier to for you read, rather than discussing about this during battle."  
  
"Sain, I can't read this while I'm on the battlefield!" protested the other knight. "That would be shirking my duty!"  
  
"Then why don't you read it on your off time, then?" pointed out Sain. "Like now!"  
  
"Well... All right," replied Kent, still skeptical. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take a look at it... "  
  
Both caveliers then dismounted their horses, and led them off the path... After which, they sat under a tree to read the scroll.  
  
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"The Art of Winning a Lady's Heart"  
  
by Sir Sain, the Green Lance of Caelin  
  
All ladies are equally lovely and equally worthy of your attention... Whether she be a warrior, magician, healer or even a village maiden, each possesses a quality that is beautiful and unique to one another (which is why I myself have such difficulty in choosing simply one!) However, not all men are like myself... So, here is my advice on how to woo that special lady you have set your sights upon.  
  
Once you have chosen a target for your affections, discover her name as soon as possible... If you cannot come in contact with your beloved immediately (or she seems shy or inexplicably avoids you), enquire her friends and companions to her identity... Although you must practice caution in enquiring male companions, lest they grow jealous and draw weapons upon you.  
  
As soon as you have discovered the name of your intended (and whether or not she is currently unattached), we may begin upon the next phase of our lesson...  
  
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Kent interrupted the reading at this point.  
  
"Sain..." he began slowly. "This is really silly..."  
  
"I guess you're right, Kent..." replied Sain, heaving a sigh. "I really should've started you on Chapter 1... You already know your beloved's name, eh?" He gave his friend a playful nudge.  
  
"That's not what I meant!" protested Kent. "I--"  
  
Suddenly, the pair heard a noise in the bushes behind them. The two knights hastily sprang to their feet, to find their liege lord, Lady Lyndis, standing behind them.  
  
"Kent! Sain!" she exclaimed, at the sight of the two guilty-looking caveliers. "I've been looking all over for you two..."  
  
"Lady Lyndis!" gulped Kent nervously. It was then that Lyn noticed the parchment dangling from the knight's hand.  
  
"Say... What's that you're reading over there, Kent?" she asked him curiously. Kent glanced down at his hand, shocked.  
  
"What... This? Er... Nothing!" He quickly crumpled up the scroll.  
  
"Don't be silly!" replied Lyn, trying to get a better look at the document. "Here, let me take a look..." Sain tactfully stepped in front of the lady.  
  
"Uh, I don't think that would be a good idea, Lady Lyndis..."  
  
Kent breathed a sigh of relief, as Sain continued to speak.  
  
"You see, Kent's composing a love poem for you..."  
  
It took a moment for those words to set in, and then...  
  
"...WHAT?" Kent cried out. "No, I'm not! Sain, that's not funny!"  
  
"Oh, Sain..." Lyn sighed, crossing her arms. "Stop teasing the poor boy." She then addressed the other knight. "What's really on that scroll, Kent?" she asked.  
  
"Er..." began Kent, running a nervous hand through his red hair. He tried to think up an excuse.  
  
"Um... It's a... Map!" he finally managed to say. "A map for the tactician!"  
  
"Oh, good!" said Lyn brightly. "She's been looking for that; I'll get it to her right away..." She reached out, to take the parchment from Kent.  
  
"No!" interjected Kent hastily. When Lyn gave him a questioning look, he tried to compose himself. "Um, I mean, no... I'll do it myself." The knight cleared his throat. "I wouldn't dream of allowing you to accomplish such a menial duty..."  
  
Lyn shrugged. "Suit yourself..."  
  
"I'll... Uh, go with him," Sain quickly added.  
  
The two caveliers then mounted their horses, and took leave of their liege lord... Lyn watched them ride away, a mystified look on her face.  
  
"They're sure acting odd today..." she commented to herself.  
  
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Meanwhile, the two knights rode down the dusty road in silence... When Kent finally judged himself out of Lyn's earshot, he addressed his friend.  
  
"That was a most unkind prank, Sain..." snapped Kent, irritably. "Why did you have to tell Lady Lyndis your scroll was a love letter from me?"  
  
Sain shrugged carelessly. "She wouldn't have looked at it, then," he reasoned.  
  
"You couldn't be sure of that!" protested Kent. The knight then sighed to himself. "But I guess I have something else to worry about, now...  
  
"What's that?" asked Sain curiously. Kent sighed once more.  
  
"Where in the world am I going to find a map for the tactician?"  
  
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TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
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	2. The Way to a Woman's Heart

Fire Emblem:  
  
"Sain's Guide to Dating"  
  
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Part Two: The Way to a Woman's Heart...  
  
It was lunchtime in the encampment of Lord Eliwood's army. Kent had just taken a bowl of stew from Rebecca, who was the camp cook today... He then went off to sit by himself, on an out of the way fallen log. After some consideration, he sighed, set the bowl aside, and pulled out the scroll Sain had written for him.  
  
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Chapter 1: The Fine Art of Love Poetry  
  
You must woo a woman with your words, before you may accompany her into the bedroom... (I'll save that subject for another chapter...)  
  
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Kent paused to blush, for a moment... Then, he read on.  
  
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Always address a lady in terms of her beauty... Comment upon the loveliness of her eyes, the colour of her hair, the fairness of her skin... However, it should be noted that commentary on any body parts below her neck and shoulders often results in physical injury to thineself (often below the waist).  
  
When you are not with your beloved, communicate your love for her with quill and parchment... Send her countless upon countless of love letters, to let her know your feelings for her.  
  
Yet should she still ignore you, do not despair... As in all things pertaining to love, persistance is key! Do not be discouraged by rejection... It may take many, many tries (and many, many women) before you may make it into a lady's heart... And by extension, her bed...  
  
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Just then, a shadow was cast over the document that Kent was reading... The cavelier looked up, to see Guy's face come into view.  
  
"Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," the swordsman told him apologetically. "Do you mind if I eat lunch with you?"  
  
"Um, no..." replied Kent. "Go right ahead."  
  
"Thanks!" said Guy brightly. He seated himself on the log beside Kent, then gave the knight an appraising look. "Say, you're one of Lady Lyndis's friends, aren't you...?"  
  
"I... Suppose you could say that," remarked Kent, slowly. Noting the swordsman's garb, he commented, "I take it you are of Sacaean descent, as well?"  
  
"Yep!" answered Guy cheerfully. "Anyways, I saw you eating alone, so I thought you might want some company..." He then noticed the open scroll in Kent's hands. "Say, what're you reading there?"  
  
"Uh, this?" The knight tried to shield the contents of the parchment from view. "Er... Nothing..." But to Kent's dismay, Guy leaned over and caught a glimpse of what was written on it.  
  
"'Sir Sain on the Art of Winning a Lady's Heart'," read the swordsman aloud. "What's that?" he asked.  
  
"Oh... Just a foolish thing my friend wrote," explained Kent, in an embarassed tone. "He's trying to... Help me out with something. But it's all rather ridiculous, really..."  
  
Guy elbowed Kent knowingly. "Having lady troubles, huh?"  
  
At this, the knight shot him a stern look, which made the myrmidon cough.  
  
"Ah, well... To tell you the truth, I have some problems dealing with women, myself..." confessed Guy. "Well... One girl really," he concluded sheepishly. He then pulled on his own braid, in a nervous gesture.  
  
"Um, say... When you're done reading that, do you mind if I take a look at it...?" he asked the knight, tentatively.  
  
There was a pause of silence. Then Kent asked, in a tone of bewilderment, "You're not serious, are you?"  
  
"'Fraid so, friend..." sighed Guy. "Really, let me know when you're done with that... I could use the advice."  
  
"Very well, then..." said Kent, in resignation. "But I think you could learn more by not listening to what it says..." he muttered to himself. The cavelier then stood up from his seat.  
  
"Now, if you will excuse me... Guy, is it?" he said, addressing his companion. "I must take your leave..."  
  
"But you haven't touched your lunch..." pointed out Guy, indicating the bowl of stew still sitting on the log.  
  
"Er... You can have it."  
  
"Gee, thanks!" responded Guy happily.  
  
The swordsman promptly picked up Kent's bowl, and began to scarf its contents down. Kent sighed and started walking away, until he was certain he was out of the myrmidon's range of hearing.  
  
"There must be some place I can read this wretched scroll where I won't be disturbed..." he grumbled to himself.  
  
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TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
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	3. Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Fire Emblem:  
  
"Sain's Guide to Dating"  
  
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Part Three: Between a Rock and a Hard Place  
  
For Kent, trying to find a secluded place to read Sain's parchment was easier said than done... Especially in an encampment that was filled with the soldiers of Lord Eliwood's ever-growing army.  
  
At first, the cavelier had tried to return his tent for a little privacy; only to find Wil there, waiting to ask him yet another question about knighthood. The cavelier finally shook him off, claiming that he needed to have a word with Sain.

However, no sooner had Kent left his tent, when he was waylaid by Sir Wallace... The armoured knight had then noticed the scroll Kent was carrying, and asked if it was for his 'Manual of Knightly Prowess'... The younger knight had beat a hasty retreat after that encounter.  
  
All in all, Kent was beginning to wonder if the blasted piece of parchment he carried was cursed, or something...  
  
So, in his quest for privacy, the knight found himself up a tree... Literally.  
  
In a wooded grove not far from the army encampment, Kent was now seated upon the thick branch of a tree, about ten feet off the ground... His horse was tethered to the bushes around it, far below. Absolutely certain that he was alone at last, the knight heaved a sigh of relief.  
  
"Finally... Perhaps now I can look at this embarassing document in peace..." he muttered to himself, irritably. Kent then carefully unrolled the scroll of parchment.  
  
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Chapter 2: The Chivalrous Knight  
  
As a noble knight of Caelin, it is my sworn duty to protect it... But it doesn't hurt to impress the ladies while doing so! When you go forth in battle, charge headlong at the enemy with your weapon proudly held high... It makes defeating the opponent all the more impressive!  
  
Lances are the knightly weapon of choice... Though a sword should be kept at hand, for as my friend insists, a lance will not withstand the most persistant axe-blow... But I believe that a knight with a stout (and passionate!) heart can overcome any enemy's weapon, with his bravery and heroism!  
  
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Kent found himself groaning. "Why do I even bother reading this...?"  
  
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Ladies are precious, lovely creatures that must be sheltered from battle, if possible. Should you see an enemy mounting an attack upon a female companion, thrust yourself nobly into his weapon's path... You will receive undying gratitude from the young maiden (and possibly, other favours, as well)... You may also win sympathy from the other ladies on the battlefield, who have witnessed your heroic deed.  
  
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As he was reading, Kent thought he heard his name called out... Listening again carefully, he realized the voice was coming from the ground, far below.  
  
"Oh, for the love of..." grumbled the knight, as he rolled up the scroll. "Now what?"  
  
Kent glanced down at the foot of the tree, and nearly fell over in shock... Lady Lyndis was standing under the very tree that he was sitting in.  
  
"Lady Lyndis?!" he gasped.  
  
"Kent!" Lyn shouted out, so he could hear her. "What are you doing up there?"  
  
"I... Er..." began Kent, rather flustered. "I just wanted some time alone, by myself..."  
  
"Up in a tree?" asked Lyn, curiously.  
  
"Yes, I..." The knight paused for a moment. "Say, how did you find me, anyways?"  
  
"Well, for one thing... Your horse is tied to this tree," Lyn pointed out.  
  
Kent flushed as red as his hair. "Oh, yes. Right..."  
  
"Also, Florina saw you up there," continued Lyn. "She feared that you might be an enemy spying on the camp, so she came to me so we could both check it out."  
  
"Florina...?" enquired Kent, slowly.  
  
"H-Hello, S-Sir Kent..." said a shy voice, right by his ear.  
  
Kent turned around to see Florina on her pegasus, hovering in midair just above and beside him. He had to grab the trunk, to prevent himself from falling off the tree in surprise.  
  
"S-sorry about startling you, S-Sir Kent," said the pegasus knight, timidly. Her pegasus then alighted on the branch Kent was sitting on.  
  
The knight's eyes widened. "Florina! Don't--!"  
  
The tree limb may have been able to support the weight of an armoured cavelier, but not that of a relatively light pegasus knight and her mount; the wood quickly snapped under the pressure.  
  
Fortunately, pegasi can hover... Unfortunately, Kent could not. Losing his balance, the cavelier began to slide off the broken branch; Florina immediately tried to grab the knight, but missed.  
  
It was then that Kent fell off the branch completely, and hurtled towards the ground, far below.  
  
"NO!!" screamed Lyn, in dismay.  
  
However, luckily for Kent, the tree he had chosen as his refuge had bushes surrounding it; he landed in a heap among the shrubs. Quickly, Lyn rushed over to where the knight had fallen.  
  
"Kent! Are you all right?" she cried out. She pulled the cavelier out of the shrubbery. "Kent! Speak to me! Say something!" she pleaded.  
  
The knight let out a groan, and Lyn breathed a sigh of relief. Meanwhile, Florina had landed her pegasus beside them, a mortified look upon her face.  
  
"I'm so s-sorry, Lyn!" gasped Florina, on the verge of bursting into tears. "I-is he all right?"  
  
"He should be fine," said Lyn reassuringly, resting the cavelier's head gently in her lap. "In fact, I think he's trying to say something..." Her brow furrowed.  
  
"What's that, Kent? I can't quite hear you..." Lyn listened carefully as Kent slowly repeated his request.  
  
"...I am... Going to... Kill... Sain..."  
  
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TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
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Notes: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed this story so far! Any more comments will be well appreciated (hint, hint)...

To Songwind: In reference to whom Guy was talking about, your second guess was the correct one; also, the tactician does actually confront Kent about her map... Eventually.

And about Mallow-chan's last review: It's funny you should say that... (Laughs evilly) BTW, I'm keeping deliberately vague about the details of this story, so not to spoil it for those who haven't read it before...


	4. A Woman's Healing Hands

Fire Emblem:  
  
"Sain's Guide to Dating"  
  
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Part Four: A Woman's Healing Hands  
  
Kent was looking very irritable at the moment... Although he was now back at the army encampment, the knight was currently sitting on a cot in the healer's tent, his arms folded stiffly in front of him. Both his boots have been removed, revealing a bandage wrapped around his right ankle.  
  
As Kent continued to fume, Sain entered the tent, causing the injured cavelier to glare at him.  
  
"Hey, Kent! I heard about your injury," Sain told his fellow knight, in a sympathetic tone. "How are you feeling?"  
  
Kent didn't reply... It was only then that Sain noticed his friend's dark mood.  
  
"Say, why are you so upset?" asked the cavelier, curiously. "Lady Lyndis told me she practically carried you over to the healer's tent, because she felt partly responsible for you falling out of that tree." He shot his friend a sly wink. "You must've loved that, eh?"  
  
"Sain..." warned Kent, dangerously.  
  
"And I heard all three of the pegasus knight sisters came to see you, you lucky dog..." added Sain, with a nudge.  
  
"But... That was just because Florina wanted to apologize for causing my fall," explained the other knight, wearily. "She only brought her sisters along, because she's still a bit uncomfortable about being alone with men..." Sain continued to speak, oblivious to his friend's words.  
  
"And then having both beautiful healers fawn over you..." The cavelier sighed in envy. "What I wouldn't give to be in your place..."  
  
"That can be arranged..." said Kent, darkly.  
  
Sain raised his hands in surprise. "Whoa! Calm down there, Kent...!"  
  
"Why should I?" snapped Kent, finally losing his temper. "What about my duty to Lady Lyndis, huh? I may miss the next battle, thanks to you and your stupid scroll!"  
  
"Hey!" exclaimed Sain, sounding hurt. "I didn't ask you to read it up in a tree, did I?" he pointed out.  
  
At those words, Kent fell silent... Realizing his friend's dismay, Sain continued in a reasonable tone.  
  
"Look... Both the fair Serra and the beautious Priscilla told me that all you had was a couple of bruises and a twisted ankle... All you need to do is keep off it for a day, and it should be fine," he explained reassuringly. "Missing a day of battle won't kill you..."  
  
"I... Suppose you're right," admitted Kent. "I'm sorry for blowing up at you... You were really just trying to help me out, after all..."  
  
"Hey, that's all right, old friend," replied Sain, cheerfully. He then elbowed the other cavelier knowingly.  
  
"Say... Did you get to the part of my scroll on battle wounds, yet? It's really appropriate to your situation, at the moment..."  
  
"Um... This isn't exactly a battle wound..." Kent pointed out.  
  
"True... But the principle is still the same. Where did you put the scroll?"  
  
Kent sighed. "Here..." He pulled a roll of parchment out of his breastplate. "I managed to hide it, before any of the ladies caught a glimpse of it..."  
  
Sain patted him on the back, proudly. "Good man! We'll make a playboy out of you, yet!" he exclaimed. Kent rolled his eyes, as his friend unrolled the scroll to the appropriate spot.  
  
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Chapter 3: Battle Scars... The Marks of Valour!  
  
Should you be unfortunate enough to fall in battle, recount your exploits to the beautiful maidens who heal your wounds... Your words will fall upon sympathetic ears, for those of the healing profession are gentle and sweet, and possess hands that are soft to the touch...  
  
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"'Gentle and sweet', huh?" interrupted Kent. "Obviously, you've never talked to Serra..."  
  
"Ah, the lovely Serra..." Sain sighed to himself. "She told me that she examined your bruises..." The cavelier then gave his friend a sly look.  
  
"Incidently... She also mentioned that you have the cutest little backsid--"  
  
"SAIN!!" cried Kent, mortified.  
  
"Hey, she said it, not me!" protested Sain. "Besides you should be flattered... And grateful you didn't fall into a thorn bush..."  
  
Kent found himself at a loss for words, yet again... His fellow knight then nudged him, to get his attention.  
  
"Hey Kent," Sain told him, pointing down at the parchment. "You haven't finished reading this section yet..."  
  
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I encourage you to contact one of these fair healers, should you be afflicted with any ailment... No matter how small or minor the injury might be, they will surely come to your aid, because of their generous, caring nature.  
  
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As soon as the two caveliers finished reading the paragraph, the healer known as Serra poked her head into the tent; Sain quickly and tactfully stuffed his scroll back into Kent's armour.  
  
"So, how's our little patient doing?" asked Serra, in a falsely considerate tone.  
  
Kent sighed heavily. "Fine..." he told her.  
  
"Good!" she answered brightly. "Just wanted to make sure your bandages haven't loosened," said the cleric to Kent... "Then Lord Hector will know what a good job I'm doing...!" she told herself, smugly.  
  
"I'll... Ah, leave you two alone, then..." Sain said slowly. The cavelier grinned knowingly at his friend, and then exited the tent. Kent looked dismayed by this.  
  
"Hey! Sain, wait!" he protested.  
  
"Now, now, just relax..." began Serra, in what she thought was a soothing tone. The cleric walked up to Kent's bedside, and examined his twisted ankle. "Let me change that bandage of yours..."  
  
"You're... Not going to check on my bruises again, are you?" asked the knight warily.  
  
"Not unless you want me to," answered the cleric. Serra winked at the cavelier, which caused him to blush. "Hee hee! Sain is right, you are fun to tease!" she giggled. "You're so uptight, just like Erk..."  
  
Kent rolled his eyes skywards. "Heaven help me..."  
  
"Hey, I do the prayers around here, pal!" she retorted. Serra giggled at her own joke, as the knight groaned to himself... The cleric then began to rewrap Kent's ankle.  
  
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TO BE CONTINUED...  
  
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Notes: Just you know, my favourite Fire Emblem character is Kent (even if I do do semi-horrible things to him in this story)... I also love all of his official pairings: Kent/Lyn, Kent/Fiora, Kent/Farina... (Yes, even the unofficial Kent/Sain one.) Although to be honest, I'd rather keep him for myself... (Hugs a startled Kent)  
  
Sain: Hey, let me have some fun, too! (Dashes over to hug Avi)  
  
(Lyn enters, and drags Sain away by his collar. As an afterthought, she re-enters and drags away Avi, too.)  
  
Avi: Eh, it was worth a shot... 


	5. The Chain Mail Letter

Fire Emblem:  
  
"Sain's Guide to Dating"  
  
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Part Five: The Chain Mail Letter  
  
The flap to the healer's tent opened, and Kent exited the place, hobbling along awkwardly because of his injured ankle. Serra had just judged (by her own professional opinion, she added smugly) that the cavelier was now well enough to be discharged from the infirmary... The knight moved forward gingerly, aided by a crutch.  
  
Kent was just about to head for his own tent very slowly, when Guy passed by, and stopped to talk to him.  
  
"Hi Kent!" greeted the Sacean swordsman, cheerfully. "Say, how's the foot doing?"  
  
"Oh, it's fine," replied Kent, in a resigned tone. "Nothing that a day's rest wouldn't cure..."  
  
"I'm glad to hear that..." Guy then gave him a thoughtful look.  
  
"You know, I heard how you got your injury, Kent..." he started to say.  
  
At this, the knight flushed. "Oh... You did, did you...?"  
  
"Yeah! The whole camp's talking about it!" said the myrmidon enthusiastically.  
  
As Kent kept stonily silent at those words, Guy continued to speak, regardless.  
  
"Yeah, that friend of yours... Sain, is it? He's been telling everyone about how all those girls in the camp came to visit you in the infirmary..."  
  
Kent ground his teeth at this. "Sain..." he growled.  
  
"...And that it was him who made you into such a playboy," concluded Guy. He nudged the knight knowingly. "Boy, that scroll he wrote really must've worked for you, huh?"  
  
Kent's jaw dropped. "But he didn't... But all that was because..." The knight trailed off. "Oh, never mind..." he sighed, exasperated. Then, something else occurred to the knight.  
  
"Um... None of the female soldiers overheard him telling you this, perchance?" Kent asked Guy, tentatively.  
  
"Oh, no!" exclaimed the myrmidon. "I think he was very careful to make sure only the men were listening."  
  
Kent glanced upwards, gratefully. "Thank the heavens..."  
  
Guy then shifted his feet uneasily. "So, uh... Since you seem to be able to deal with women, now... Do you mind if I have the scroll?"  
  
"Um... I don't know..." began Kent hesitantly... He was thinking of all the trouble the document had caused him.  
  
"C'mon, you obviously don't need it anymore..." urged Guy.  
  
The knight sighed. "Oh, very well..." he said reluctantly. Kent pulled the the now rather crumpled piece of parchment out of his breastplate, and handed it to Guy.  
  
"But I must warn you, it's a lot more trouble than it's worth..." the cavelier told him.  
  
"All right! Thanks a lot, Kent!" said Guy, gratefully. The swordsman then began to smooth out the rumpled parchment, in order to read it.  
  
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Chapter 4: Wine, Women and Song  
  
By now, you should've already won over a lady friend (with the help of my knightly wit and charm, of course). Yet not all women will readily accept an immediate visitation to one's tent, after battle... (It doesn't hurt to try, though...)  
  
Inns are the perfect place to entertain a lady. There, you may wine and dine her to your heart's content... And with any luck, you may later retire upstairs for... Other entertainments...  
  
And should you be unfortunate enough not to win the hand of a fair damsel thus far, the inn houses many comely serving girls, with whom you may also try your hand at winning over (and may be more amenable to... Suggestion, shall we say....?)  
  
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Just then, Kent tactfully placed a hand over the document.  
  
"Uh... Perhaps you shouldn't read this out in public, Guy..." advised the cavelier cautiously.  
  
Guy gave him a knowing wink. "Sure... I got ya! Want to keep it a secret between men, right?"  
  
"You... Might say that," replied the knight, slowly.  
  
After bidding the swordsman farewell, Kent limped off towards his tent, trying to hide a smile.  
  
Meanwhile, Guy clutched the scroll protectively in his hands, and then glanced around the crowded army encampment.  
  
"Now... Where in the world can I read this without anyone watching...?" murmured the myrmidon to himself.  
  
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TO BE CONCLUDED...  
  
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Notes: Only the Epilogue left to add, I'm afraid... I know I may be ending the story a bit abruptly, but... Oh, well. (Although, I've come up with a title for a possible sequel: "Sain's Guide to Dating 2: A Guy, Some Girls and a Piece of Parchment"...)

Oh, and before I forget again... To aomega6, about Part 3: Wil's question about knighthood is a reference to Lyn/Wil's A level Support; Lyn mentions that Kent told her of Wil's drive to become a knight of Caelin (Did that last sentence make sense...?).


	6. A Man Scorned

Fire Emblem:  
  
"Sain's Guide to Dating"  
  
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Epilogue: ... A Man Scorned  
  
It is slow going for a man with a twisted ankle and only a crutch to support him, and Kent was no exception... The knight was still heading through the encampment and back towards his tent, when he caught something out of the corner of his eye.  
  
It turned out to be Sain... The cavelier was talking animatedly to a group of men around a campfire; by Sain's arm gestures, it was quite obvious that he was recounting how Kent got his injury... At this, Kent's eyes narrowed.  
  
The knight then marched determinedly towards his friend, as best as he could manage... As he approached, Kent thought he could overhear part of Sain's conversation.  
  
"...So, get this... All three pegasus sisters came to visit him, and..." Sain then trailed off, as he noticed Kent glaring at him.  
  
"Oh, hi Kent!" he greeted his friend, oblivious to the knight's obvious annoyance at him. "They let you out of the infirmary, did they?" A look of concern then crossed Sain's face.  
  
"Say... You shouldn't be moving so much on that ankle, should you...?" he asked curiously.  
  
"Be quiet, Sain!" interrupted Kent, irritably. "I have half a mind to hit you with my crutch..." Sain looked bewildered by his friend's negative reaction.  
  
"What's wrong, Kent? Why are you so mad at me?  
  
"Why do you think, Sain?" retorted the other knight. "How dare you tell everyone how I fell out of that tree! Do you have any idea how humiliating that is? Now, no one will ever take me seriously again... I'll be the laughingstock of the camp!"  
  
"On the contrary, Kent!" protested Sain. "The men are impressed by how you won over all those women... I'm just improving your reputation with the ladies!"  
  
"I might even add your little incident to my scroll, as an example..." continued the cavelier to himself, thoughtfully. "Do you still have it on you...?" Looking up at his friend, it was only then that he recognized Kent's infuriated expression.  
  
Sain's eyes slowly widened. "Uh-oh..."  
  
The cavelier carefully backed away from Kent... Then, he began to run. Kent immediately followed Sain in hot pursuit, although he was rather hampered by his bad ankle.  
  
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Meanwhile, in another part of the camp, Lady Lyndis headed towards the infirmary... In her hands, she carried a bunch of wildflowers, which were quite obviously for Kent.  
  
Lyn was just about to enter the healer's tent, when Sain, and then Kent both rushed past her, yelling at the top of their lungs.  
  
"Hey, calm down, Kent!" cried Sain hastily. "You're supposed to keep off that foot, remember? What about duty and battling and all that...?"  
  
"Shut up, Sain!" snarled Kent, waving his crutch over his head. "The only thing I care about now is breaking this crutch over your head! You and your foolish scroll... This is all your fault...!"  
  
As the two caveliers sprinted past Lyn, she stared after both of them, astonished... Then, she shook her head.  
  
"Gee, and I always thought Kent was so dependable and level-headed," Lyn said to herself, in disbelief. "I guess it's true what they say about redheads..."  
  
Lyn then sighed, tossed away the flowers, and slowly walked away.  
  
END  
  
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Notes: To be honest, I don't care for the Epilogue... But I thought it was a better ending than Part 5. Any comments or reviews on this story would be appreciated!

As you may have noticed, this rewrite of "Sain's Guide to Dating" is pretty much the same as the original, except that it's no longer in script format... (The bulk of the new material is in Part 3, in case you didn't notice.) And as a side note, I'm actually finished the sequel to this story; it should be up here, shortly...


End file.
